Ticking

I swear I can hear the seconds ticking by. Not that it is at all quiet in this house of 9 on a Saturday! I am so anxious, I just want this coming week and the next to speed by! I am having a hard time thinking of anything else but finally being licensed and even more than that of becoming a foster mom! I have had the joy and privilege of giving birth to 7 beautiful children. As I anticipated their due dates, readied the house, checked things off the to do list, the excitement built until I finally held that precious child in my arms. I am feeling that exact same way as I wait for our license to come through and anticipate the call that will change our lives. I know that becoming a foster mom was what I was meant to do. I am conflicted in knowing that a child has had to suffer in order to need me, but that is the reality of the world that we live in. I hope that I will make a difference.

Breathe

We met with our licensing specialist last night for our final interview and to sign more paperwork. We are the first family to have everything ready so she is writing up our report today and will send it to her supervisor to be reviewed in the next couple of days. Last night when she was here I asked her how long the state is taking to complete licenses and she said just a couple of days, oh my goodness! I was under the impression it was more like 2-4 weeks. When we began the process to become foster parents we were told 6 months so I have been preparing myself for our first placement in May. As we got closer it was apparent that it would be sooner than that, maybe the end of March. Now it looks like the first week of March. I couldn't sleep last night, I kept making a mental list of everything I still needed to buy that I wanted to have on hand until I could get to the store once we receive "the call". I spent the morning at the zoo with my little girl then off to Target we went! Since we are open for kiddos from birth-1 buying clothes is almost impossible! I have a few gender neutral onesies and sleepers in a couple of sizes so at least I have something clean to put them in. Today I bought a can of formula, diapers in size 1 and 3, wipes, baby cereal and 2 jars of food, a baby monitor and who knows what else! I already have everything else I think I will need except for a playpen. We have a brand new crib but since I wont know which room to put it in until we know the age and sex of the child I don't want to set it up yet. A playpen can pop open at a moments notice and will definitely be helpful. So now that I am ready I think I can breathe! Placements are still happening in our county within days of being licensed, there is such a desperate need for foster homes right now. I am excited, anxious, a little nervous but in my naivete I feel ready! I think I will be on pins and needles for the next couple of weeks. Breathe!

Check

The other day as me and my little girl were driving in the car I asked her if she had something and she said "check"! She constantly makes me laugh when she says things I have never heard her say before. This was a proud mommy moment for me as I am hoping that this is a sign that she is a list maker like her mama. I love making lists and crossing things off as I accomplish them, actually it is the only way I think that I can stay sane! This last week we have been able to check two big things off of our foster care checklist:
home inspection passed-CHECK!
family interviews done- CHECK!
Tonight is our last PS-MAPP class, I am excited to be done but at the same time I have learned so much and hope to be able to continue some of the friendships we have formed throughout this process. The biggest thing for me was realizing that my experiences as a child have prepared me in so many ways to  become a foster mom. I am grateful for the trials I have had if that means it has made me a better mom. It is crazy to think that in about a month we will be answering a phone call that will change the rest of our lives!