Easy

I didn't realize that I haven't blogged in such a long time. Our summer has been relaxing and pretty easy. We leave for our family vacation next week and I can't wait, I am excited to spend time with my family. I finally called Mr. Caseworker yesterday just to make sure it was ok for Turtle to travel with us. I don't know why I kept putting it off, I guess I knew it wasn't going to be a big deal I just wanted to make sure he knew where Turtle would be. After I got off the phone with him I thought, "that was pretty easy!" Then I had a little bit of foster mom guilt. I read several other foster blogs, since starting on this journey I have found comfort in hearing what others have experienced, and great inspiration as I try to navigate my way through the system. One particular mom has had to jump through all kind of hoops to take her kiddos on vacation with her, and I can't help but feel somewhat guilty that so far our journey through foster care land has been so easy. I don't have people coming in and out of my house all the time like I thought I would, we don't have bio parent visits to deal with, I see someone from our agency or Mr. Caseworker every few months. They come monthly but it's usually at the beginning of one month and then not until the end of the next month, not every 30 days. Turtle is a part of our family which is sometimes interrupted by a court date. I am grateful that so far things have been as drama free as possible, I know it won't always be this easy. I was watching my 9 year old play with Turtle in his high chair tonight and thought about how hard it is going to be on my kids when he leaves someday. They love him, I love him. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him leaving, or the possibility of him staying forever. So nothing about foster care is really that easy, except loving these kids, that is definitely easy.