Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Today I got a call from our licensing specialist, she will be coming out for her first visit with us tomorrow afternoon. I am a little nervous. The house is a wreck because the kids have been home all week on fall break, so I guess I will be cleaning tomorrow! She is not coming to inspect the house but I want to make a good first impression. My little kids will probably be bouncing off the walls because someone new is coming to visit and each one of them feel it necessary to show off all of their hidden talents. Hopefully they will listen to me and my parenting skills won't be tested in front of our new friend! Since my oldest is 18 she will be talking with him too, I have explained to him why I want to do foster care but he still thinks it's "weird". He explained to me that it will be strange to have someone else in the house that is not even related to us, and that I would be giving so much attention to this child. I understand where he is coming from, all I can do is reassure him that it won't take away anything from him. I hope that as we love on these precious children that I will be able to balance what they need along with the needs of my own kids. I pray that my kids will understand that I love them just as much as always and I hope that their lives will be influenced for good because of this. I have already run into people who have said they could never do it, that they wouldn't be able to give them back. I am trying to understand where that puts me. Am I a better or worse person because I can? I know it is going to be hard but I have to put the needs of these children before the grief that I know I am going to feel. I don't look forward to the goodbyes, but that won't prevent me from putting myself out there and taking care of these kids. I can do it, I have to do it.