Tuesday, April 17, 2012


The night before Drummer left my little girl was really sick, so sick that I ended up taking her to the ER. I'm not gonna lie, a part of me was really glad for the distraction. As soon as we had a date to move Drummer I could feel myself pulling away from him. I was a little more "bothered" by having to care for a baby, and just didn't feel the same. I don't know if this is common or not but I think it was my minds way of surviving the emotional trauma. We spent a good couple of hours at the ER, poor baby had pneumonia and strep throat. By the time we got home Drummer was asleep and I finished getting things together for his move. After getting him settled with the new foster mom I dragged my poor daughter out shopping with me! Not the best mommy of the day but at least she could sit in the cart and didn't have to walk! Not even 2 hours later as we are in Wal*art picking up a few last minute things for my sons birthday tomorrow my phone rings. I honestly never hear my cell phone, it drives my husband crazy but seriously I don't use it alot so it's usually buried in my purse or diaper bag! Today it was in my pocket and while on my way to check out I get a call from CP$ asking if I would take a 10 month old little boy. I asked alot of questions then agreed to talk with the CW. The CW calls about 5 minutes later and fills me in on some of the details, apparently a judge ordered him removed from his current foster home today. Ok, well I guess I can do this.I called my hubby and said "don't be shocked but we are taking another baby!" Good thing I was already at the store, I was able to grab what we needed then rush home to clean my house! I was really looking forward to the weekend baby free too, we were going to be crazy busy with baseball games, baseball pictures, my sons birthday and taking care of my sick little girl. Looking back maybe I should have said no but so far I haven't learned how to do that and I am very glad I didn't because I think I am in love with this little guy but I think a day or two to grieve a little and recharge would have been good for all of us. My kids are so awesome, I know they were sad saying goodbye to Drummer so when they walked in Friday after school and I said "guess what?" they were so excited! Friday night could have been very overwhelming but somehow I held it all together. Heavenly Father is definitely giving me the strength to do what I need to do to help these sweet babies. I don't regret for one minute our decision to foster. I will go through the heartache over and over again for the opportunity to give these kids the love and safety that they deserve.

1 comment:

  1. It is so difficult not to have that pulling away feeling. I had it when we found out our little E would most likely leave to live with his Grandma.
    We have had Primo for over 6 months, I cannot even imagine how sad I will be when he leaves.

    Glad you have a new little one to love. Keep up the good work!