Plans

I am a planner by nature, I like to make lists, shop out of season, and plan ahead. This is a great ability to have when you are trying to run a family the size of mine however not so great in the world of foster care. I have learned to let go of alot. I would not say that I am a control freak, I just like to be organized and know what's going on. And if you throw off my routine I have a hard time adjusting unless it works in my favor! Turtle's birthday is a little over a month away, I am pretty sure he will be here but are we ever really sure? Everything could change in a moments notice, or nothing could happen for awhile, we never really know. I want so  badly to plan his first birthday party but the frugal (and self-protective) part of me won't let me buy decorations, or birthday gifts just yet. That is sooo hard! I was told there is court at the end of the month but wasn't given a specific date. I think that I really want to go just so I know what the heck is happening with his case and get a better idea of how long we get to love on him. I would love to take him on vacation with us in early June, I know we would be given permission I just don't know if he will still be with us then. That part is really hard for me, not only the lack of planning but I don't even want to let myself imagine doing all the fun things together and then be heart broken if he's not a part of it. For now I just have to try to put it out of my mind and hopefully in the next few weeks we will have a better idea of what's to come.